Salton Sea and Grandma Sally

The Salton Sea and the Rule of Three’s

Omen #1

On the California Highway 111 we arrived at the border patrol security stop where the officer proceeded to ask us “So, where you two headed today?”

“The Salton Sea.” Jen Replied

“The Salton Sea?” the officer asked “Then where?”

This should have been our warning, but what the hell did we know. We were just looking for something to check out. After all I’d seen some movies that mentioned the place like “Into the Wild” and “The Salton Sea” but nothing prepared us for what was ahead. We drove a little more up the road until we finally saw the water. It was bigger than I had expected (That’s what she said). Jen drove a little more and then we found a spot where we could get to the shoreline. The sign stated “Bombay Beach turn left.”

Omen #2

The turn off definitely read “Beach” but it was far from a beach unless you take the loose definition of a shore line. The short little drive from the road to the “beach” was blocking in about a square mile or two of shitty mobile homes and boarded up trailers. All Jen and I could think was “Who would want to live here?”

Omen #3

The first set of steps that led to the “beach” was comprised of broken wood planks that led to some poles with a lock and chain sagging across it. The next opening was gated up as well, so we took in more of the pleasant scenery of the abandoned mobile homes. The third one was open so we drove on up and boom, there is the magnificent* body of water.

*Editor’s note: The term magnificent is loosely used in this context.

We parked the wagon and noticed a couple of guys fishing as well as 3 or 4 kids swimming and then we thought that things were starting to look promising. We had seen a bunch of birds that looked like cranes, some others that I think were a couple of pelicans and either a hawk or maybe a falcon as I am no bird expert. We then grabbed our cameras and a couple bottles of water and started walking. As we got closer to the “beach” I started hearing crunching sounds under my feet.

What could this be?

The first things that came to mind were:

A.) shells that washed up

B.) loose or uneven gravel

C.) broken glass.

But it was a trick question because the answer was

D.) none of the above.

The truth behind the crunch was dead washed up fish and there were tons of them. By tons I mean at least one dead fish for every two square feet for as far back as fifteen feet from the water line.

After seeing the dead fish I started to question the intelligence of the guys that were fishing as well as the kids that were swimming. This is the moment that we decided to make this a short stop. After snapping some pictures of the various birds (which were the highlight of the stop) and other broken down and defunct architecture, we got back in the car and drove off.

The original plan was to hang out, do some kayaking, and sleep at the Salton Sea campground and then meet up with Jen’s Grandma Sally in the morning. Things changed after witnessing the water and its surroundings. Jen picked up her phone and called Sally which then proceeded to move the next days breakfast to that days lunch/dinner.

Grandma Sally’s

We arrived at the big yellow house and were greeted by the classic little old grandma that you read about in nursery rhymes. Sally treated us to an amazing spread of sandwich fixings with all the works. With condiments and side dishes it covered more than half of her kitchen table. There was easily enough food to feed a family of 15 but the three of us ate like royalty.

With the food came great conversation. It’s interesting to be around someone who is about 50 years my senior and has pretty much the same opinions on most all subjects, from politics and current events to books and movies the likeness and open-mindedness is spellbinding. Sally stays relevant and is plenty fun to talk to. We discussed much of everything from family to the future stops on our trip and before we knew it almost 5 hours had passed.

It’s hard to leave an environment like Sally’s house. The living room alone is filled with a whole wall of floor to ceiling bookshelves lined with classic books like her F. Scott Fitzgerald collection, complete with newspaper clippings of reviews and articles on the book and so forth. Spread throughout the house is her collection of fiesta ceramics ware, which is also very awesome. If you haven’t seen fiesta ware it is often brightly colored plates, bowls, teapots, etc. that is made in the art deco style of construction. Sally also has a 9 month old, full of life puppy in the breed of boxer. Ernesto (Yes, you heard correctly Ernesto is the totally awesome name given to the dog) pushes the boundaries of this poor woman, but you can see the love in both of their eyes. The love continues to gleam when Ernesto was jumping up to lean on the counter to say “hi.” Oh, and I forgot to mention her making us jealous by whipping out her new ipad. I'm not a huge Apple proponent but it's pretty sweet. Finally it was time for the last goodbyes as we backed down the driveway and headed back to the highway.

Random Facts

Number of dead fish at the Salton Sea = infinite

Number of border patrol check points between Yuma and the Salton Sea = 3

Number of potted plants Ernesto picked up and carried around the yard = 1

In the words of Edward R. Murrow

“Goodnight, and Good Luck”