Epic
Words can be deceptive. Words can have double meanings and can provide ways around things. They are also used to describe an object, person, feeling, etc. When a word is used far too often to describe menial happenings, the word becomes less important, as do many things that have a high repetition rate. I call this a vocabulary importance breakdown.
San Francisco has been plagued by a vocabulary importance breakdown or VIB for short. The word in question is, epic. Epic by definition is anything of unusually great size or extent. When the word epic is used to describe your trip to the corner store in which nothing of importance happened, you have just been succumbed by VIB.
Now i don't want to sound snobby about this, as i have been a victim of this as well. It effects everyone at some point in their life. Everyone remembers the Las Vegas hella plague of 1999, but San Francisco has taken it to a new level. They have taken the word epic and made it less so.
Parking
Parking in frisco is a fiasco. Not only is it a pain in the ass to find a spot, but once you do it becomes even more of a bother. At most locations around the city there are designated days for street cleaning. On these days, if you are parked on that curb you will recieve a ticket at the time they clean the street. So, on these days there is a great shuffle for everyone to move their cars and drive around the block while waiting for the cleaner to pass. Failure to do so results in a fifty five dollar fine. Bummer.
Jason Likes to Farm
The following is written in children's literature form. A picture book would be ideal. Maybe in the future when I get time to draw.
Jason lives in San Francisco.
Jason co-owns a farm.
Jason has a dog.
her name is Jolene.
Jason takes Jolene to the farm every time he visits.
Jason and Jolene love the farm.
Jason makes a decent living from the farm.
Jason recently added solar panels to his farm to run electricity.
Jason loves his farm.
Jason also loves Jolene
You may be asking yourself,
"Just what does Jason grow on his farm?"
Jason grows medical marijuana and couldn't be happier.
The end
Compost or DIE
It is against the law to not recycle and compost within the city limits of SF. This blew my mind when I first heard of the law. Now in theory it is a huge accomplishment and should be applauded. It works so well in the densely populated area of the city. I could see it working in manhattan or other urban areas of the likes. In most areas the cost of trucks to pick it all up and gas prices and paying workers to do the picking up would be financially irresponsible.
The thing that gets me is that San Francisco is indeed part of America. This means we have freedoms. This also means that a law making me follow rules with my trash is sort of a violation of my civil liberties. I should have the right to do whatever the hell I want with my trash. Now, I am not saying it is a bad thing to recycle or compost in fact I am heavily in favor of composting for personal use and some things are much better recycled than thrown away, like metals for example. For me its a battle of principles. Who is this city that's telling me they can fine me if I throw old moldy bread in the trash instead of the compost bin. Anyways, I applaud San Francisco for their valiant effort to help this planet, but on the whole I cannot get behind a law that makes you do so.
It's Not as Gay as You Think
San Francisco is not as gay as you might think. With exception to the gay district it is not overly in your face as you might expect. Mostly its eco-minded young people and some random hippies with some rich people that are hip to urban living within the city limits. they even celebrate the fourth of July here, despite what my dad thought. I still laugh when thinking about him saying that he was surprised by that.
Pecker 9/11
Where were you when Pecker 9/11 happened? This epic event happened when a frisbee came into contact with two males and their distinctive male areas respectively. It was earth shattering. Details are shotty at best but no man within his right mind will ever forget the moment that it happened. So i ask again, where were you when pecker 9/11 happened.
"I would get an erection next to another dude, just to make Pecker 9/11." - Neil
Putting America to Work
Thanks to Obama and George W. before him, we have hit more traffic in California than any other state. This is all due to putting America to work. They are doing menial jobs like paving the shoulders of roads and such. It will definitely be nice when they finish the work, but as we wait in a line of fifty cars, because they have shut the highway down to a one way, one at a time drive, it sucks a whole lot. Thanks a lot U.S. Government.
Chant Along USA
We've gotten into the habit of chanting "USA" whenever something is either awesome or ridiculously american. Fireworks for example implore the chant. Giant ridiculous foods also warrant the chant. Sometimes it is fun to just bust out a chant for normal things like climbing to the top of a hill. But remember, it is always important to use the chant in moderation for we do not want it to lose its welcome and suffer from VIB.
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